Soulmates

I've read several articles recently about finding your soulmate not being realistic....and I couldn't agree more.  I think it's more about being happy with yourself and then finding someone that you fit well with.  Here's just one of the articles I read.

It's made me think a lot about my journey to finding my true love.  The kind of love that's just normal.  Gordon and I are quickly approaching our 4th wedding anniversary and I'm happy to say things are better than ever.  Sure, we have our normal couple disagreements.  It'd be weird if we didn't.

I give my previous failed relationships credit for my healthy marriage....and here is why!

Looking back, I now realize that every relationship taught me something different.  I read a book years ago called The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35.  It was spot on.  I've changed.  The things I can and cannot tolerate have changed.  Thankfully, I'm better.  Here's a little run down of my past.....

{High School Sweetheart}  I thought I'd die without this one.  I couldn't imagine loving anyone else.  I didn't want to.  It started off so innocently.  We were only 17 when it began and at the end 22.  Although I wish I would have been smart enough to end it at 19, I didn't.  Because of that, I did learn that I could forgive but I could never forget.  I put on the top of my "what I want in a man list" HONESTY.

{On Again Off Again)  He was my best friend.  Somehow timing just never quite worked out for us to have a productive relationship....and yet we were always right there for each other in some of the hardest times in both of our life's.  God works in mysterious ways.  It's like He knew that we needed each others support but His plan wasn't to have us spend our life together.  From this relationship I learned I wanted to find HAPPINESS and JOY.  I added FRIEND onto my "man list".  A friend that would always have my back.

{College Fling}  It didn't last very long but it left an impression.  I realized how great it was to be with a person that is driven.  A person that is ambitious and HARDWORKING.  Those two qualities were added to my "man list".  

{Get A Job} This one started at the end of college and went into the beginning of my big girl life.  I learned a lot about what I didn't want from this relationship.  Don't get me wrong, we had fun.  This was my "drink champagne and dance on the tables" relationship.  Fun doesn't take you very far in life.  That in its self was a good lesson.  During this time I did learn to love music outside of my normal country girl stuff....U2, Coldplay, Jimmy Buffett, Bob Marley.  I was able to put STABILITY on my "man list" after this one.

{Trying To Grow Up}  I went on a couple of dates with a guy that worked for BP in my mid 20s.  He wanted to travel the world and live in other countries (back then I said I'd never live abroad, now I think it sounds awesome).  At the time I still questioned sushi (which I now love).  He helped me open my eyes to different things, try new things, be more spontaneous and dig down a little deeper to my adventurous side.  I added FUN to my list.  Having someone to travel with had a new meaning.

{The Last Before The Last}  God putting this one in my life was such a blessing.  The relationship was a mess but it really made me grow up and re-prioritize.  Emotions were intense in this one.  It made me want something calmer.  He had a wonderful family and was Catholic like me.  At 25, after it was over, I realized how important attending church with my significant other was to me.  I added two very important things to my list GOD and a strong FAMILY.  These two things, in my opinion, are the foundation of a relationship.  So, thanks Pub Fiction for connecting me with this last one!

In October 2006 I wrote a list of what I did and did not want in a man.  Five months later the man I would marry walked back into my life.  I hadn't seen or talked to him in 5 years.  I'll never forget the smile that was on his face when I got out of my car that night.  I love him to the moon. 

We don't drink champagne and dance on tables but we have a lot of fun.  We go to church together.  We love each others families.  We are stable.  We've gone on some awesome vacations together.  He's my best friend, the best daddy and a fabulous landscape architect that works his butt off to provide for his family.  I found that "man list" when I was moving out of my apartment in 2010.  I couldn't help but smile and give myself a little pat on my back (and say a little thank you prayer to the Man above).  I had stayed strong and true to myself.  I didn't settle.  I found the one that was perfect for me.  

All the heartache and tears were worth it....and believe me, there had been lots of tears over the years (just ask my mom)! 

No relationship is perfect.  It takes work every. single. day.  Having a child adds a whole new dimension.  Luckily, I found someone that I can work through the good times and the bad with.  He's easy going and kind.  I feel blessed.  Simple as that.  

{I was only 18 in this picture!} {Heading to NM to ski} {Sophomore year at the SAE lodge}

{First Kiss} {Pajama Party our Sophomore year}

{SAE ski trip Freshman year} {2007=First year of dating}

From afar, I've watched my much younger cousins go through their own relationship struggles.  Maybe by writing this post I'll help a young lady (or man) see a little clearer.  Things were foggy when I was in my early 20s.  They are crystal clear now.  :)


 

No Such Thing As Super Mom

I just got done reading a blog post from So Wonderful So Marvelous and let me just say she hit the nail on the head!  Everyone should read this post.  Mom or not.   This momma talks about not being super mom and says, "We all are making the best of our collective situations, but it doesn’t mean we have to be assholes to each other."  HOW TRUE IS THIS!  Each of us has our own story.  It's good to be different.  I think it's what makes the world go around.  Here's another great blog post about mom vs. mom.  The blogger from Loving My Lot says many of the same things about mothers judging other mothers. 
Here are a few of my thoughts on the situation.
I work full time.  At this very moment it's the only option for my family.  And guess what, I'm happy with this.  I choose to feed William organically when possible.  If you don't want to do the same that's okay!  I was lucky enough to be able to produce milk for William and I did it for 16 months.  Yep, that's right.  This past weekend was the last time I nursed my baby forever.   Unfortunately, I feel like people judge me for this.  I have friends that had a hard time producing milk and they felt judged for not breast feeding their baby.  Come on people....let's be nice to each other.  We are all doing the best we can.  The thing is....you just never know what someone is going through.  So, be careful before you judge.  I have no idea what anyone things of me.  Nor do I really care.  Years ago I probably would have cared but now I just have to do what's best for my family.  William is 100% dependent on us so a lot of what I do is for him.  I also try to take care of myself/my body, raise our child going to church and believing in God (as G and I were) and I try to keep a good healthy marriage.  No area gets 100%.  It's just not physically possible.  All I can do is try my best.  As long as William, Gordon and I are happy that's all that matters.

Here's a video that everyone should watch.   You can also go to You Tube and Search for "If We Could See Inside Others Hearts by the Cleveland Clinic"  It's AMAZING.  Being an oncology nurse I realize, maybe a little more than others, that everyone has "a story" (and a lot of them are very sad).  Gordon and I have had our own scary times.  I didn't have an "normal" pregnancy.  I left a lot of my doctors appointments in tears because our baby wasn't growing and they didn't know if he was getting everything he needed inside of me.  After he was born I had to leave the hospital without my baby.  I've gone into surgery not knowing what the outcome would be.  BUT, I'm grateful because I know there is someone out there with a story much worse than mine.  I wish I could hug them.  At least we have William.  He is our little miracle.  I've seen family and friends go through infertility and it's heartbreaking.  In This Wonderful Life  is another great blog that tells the story of a family that's been through much more heartache than I can fathom.  All I can do is count my blessings and pray!

If you could stand in someone else's shoes....

Hear what they hear.

See what they see.

Feel what they feel.

Would you treat them differently?

 

Don't worry if you're not super mom.  Nobody is.  Just be the best that you can be.  Do what's right for you and your family.  Be kind.  We are all fighting our own battle.  Hug your babies and your fellow mommies! 

 

Some of our scariest days

 

Sweet Baby Boy

 

 



ONE year old photo session

A few weeks before William's first birthday, while we were in Midland, we had his ONE year old photo session done.  We went on Friday morning to take pictures but poor little William did horrible.  He just kept crying and reaching for me.  Our flight hadn't gotten in until 10:30 the night before so he was super tired.  Thankfully, Kristi let us go back the next day when he was in better spirits.  They turned out wonderful and the chevron backdrop went perfect with his birthday party outfit!

 

Arvella did a fabulous job with his cake (and it was delicious)!

I'm gonna get you mommy!

He's got his daddy's eyes

Lovin' on his nana and papa

Dustin and Skye got to join in at the last minute too!

He thinks uncle D is pretty funny!

I don't know about this cake thing guys?!?

Not only are the pictures adorable but we made great memories while having them taken!!  He is such a sweet baby.  :)

Has It Really Been Two Years?!?!

Two years ago, September 18, 2010, I married my best friend.  I can hardly believe two years have already flown by.  It really seems like just yesterday.  So much has happened in the last year!!!  Our relationship has changed so much.  I think we are stronger after everything we went through with William .  We love our baby boy to pieces and have cherished everyday we've had with him!!!  I told Gordon the other day that years ago I knew I could marry him because not only was he my best friend but I felt like we'd always be able to get through tough times.  I didn't go into marriage thinking it would all be easy or happy.  I knew we'd have our ups and downs BUT no matter what we'd work it out.  I couldn't ask for a more loyal, honest, trustworthy, responsible, kind and loving father and husband!!  ....and he makes me laugh :) 

Adriana (our nanny) watched William tonight while Gordon and I went out for a nice anniversary dinner.  I couldn't believe he was still awake when we got home at 9....guess he wanted to be in the picture and say goodnight to mom and dad!!  Life is good. 



With my blue eyed boys

Family photos by Alison

When William was 6 weeks old my best friend came over to take some family photos.  For those of you that know us you know that Gordon hates taking pictures.  He was a good sport and let us take pictures for about 15 minutes.  Alison did a wonderful job yet again! 

Beautiful blue eyes

The Gooding Family

Our crazy wonderful life!

Coming Home

Gordon and I were so excited to bring our sweet baby boy home last Wednesday!  Such a happy day for our entire family.  Gordon went to work that morning and waited until I spoke to the doctors and got the official OK.  I spent the morning packing up all of our stuff.  After getting Dr. Welty's blessing I fed William, loaded up some of our stuff and headed home to pick up daddy. 

See ya later room 812

My last morning in the NICU

We grabbed a quick bite to eat at Freebirds and then headed to the hospital for the last time.  While William was in the hospital I pumped every 3 hours and put the milk in a fridge in the room.  A few times a day the milk bank came by and picked everything up.  I ended up having 200 bottles of frozen milk!!  WOW!  Gordon didn't believe me when I told him we needed two coolers.  Good thing we brought both because we needed them.  After getting all the milk and loading up the rest of our stuff we were ready to go.

This isn't even all of it!

We got William dressed, unhooked from the monitors (hallelujah), and buckled up in his car seat.  Since we were discharged from the NICU a nurse had to escort us out and watch us snap him into the car seat base.  While we waited for Gordon to pull the car up I helped another family buckle their new baby up in the car seat.  The poor couple had no idea how to get their baby boy buckled up right.  I am definitely thankful for the car seat education I received.  Every parent should have to take a class.  William did great on the ride home.  He didn't make a peep.

By the time we got home and put all the milk in the freezer it was time to feed baby boy. I did a couple loads of laundry, cooked dinner, gave the little man his first bath at home, and watched The Bachelorette. I'm not much of a TV watcher but I must say I missed it while we were in the hospital. I hadn't cooked dinner since I'd been put on bed rest (March 26th)!! It was SO nice to sit and eat together as a family in our own home. Gordon and I were both getting tired of all the eating out we had to do while William was in the NICU. Not only does it get expensive but it's not as healthy and not nearly as comfortable as home.

He loves bath time!

The first night went well. We bought a monitor that detects movement/breathing that I LOVE. I originally didn't think I wanted one but since he was a preemie and I am so used to having the monitors at the hospital to let me know he's still breathing I gave in. It has definitely helped me sleep better. Otherwise, I would wake up constantly to check if he was breathing.
Gordon and I are so blessed. We can't thank the staff at TCH enough for taking such great care of our sweet baby boy. I am SO thankful that I delivered at the new Texas Children's Women's Pavilion. Eventhough the nights were long and I got little sleep with all the beeping machines...I loved being able to stay 24/7 with William in our own private room. God works in mysterious ways. Years ago I would have told you I was never going to stop working at M.D. Anderson....for several different reasons I left and found a FABULOUS job at TCH still working with pediatric oncology patients. Since my insurance changed and the new pavilion was being built I left the OB/GYN I'd seen for nearly 7 years and found a new one that would deliver at the pavilion. If all those things hadn't happened William and I wouldn't have gotten the excellent care we received at TCH. Having the private room really helped our family bond like we would have at home. So, when things seem to be going terribly wrong and you're feeling sad just remember that God has a plan for us all. It may not make sense at first....just give it some time! Our God is an awesome God. Our little William James is living proof!!!