Elaboration On The Unexpected

I post a few months ago about our miscarriage in September.  I've had quite a few people private message me, talk to me in person and send text message with thanks and sweet words about the post.  So many couples have fertility issues.....and the majority of the time we have no idea what they are going through.  I know that talking to others, that have gone through similar situations, has made me feel a ton better.  That's why I'm doing another post.
Let me start off by saying that Gordon and I are blessed beyond measure.  Getting to carry William for 7 months and now watch him grow into a healthy little boy is indescribable.  He is so precious to us.  If he's all we get we are happy and thankful.

With that being said, I was really sad for 2-3 months after the miscarriage....here are a few of the things that made my heart hurt and things that crossed my mind.

•  I would love to give William a sibling.  To think he would be an only child was probably the hardest part.  (I did find a positive to it....we'd obviously have lots more money and time for just him)  
• I always thought I'd be more logical and see the science behind the miscarriage.  That wasn't the case.  I wanted that baby.  I'd started planning and we were excited.  
• Some of the people I'm closest to found out they were pregnant right after my miscarriage.  I watched person after person post about their pregnancy on Facebook.  Was I happy for my friends?  Of course!  Was I sad about my loss still?  Yes.  To hear people announce a pregnancy when you should be doing the same thing hurts.  Watching those cute baby bumps grow has just been a constant reminder of how my body should have looked, of where we should have been.  
• Scared.  Scared that I'll never get pregnant again.  Scared that I shouldn't have had the surgery on my uterus back in 2013.  Scared that another miscarriage is in our future (if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant).  My SIL is an OB/GYN and has told me from day 1 that these are all normal feelings.  She said all women feel this after having a miscarriage (my SIL has been a tremendous help through all of this!).  
• Blaming myself.  Wondering if I somehow did something wrong.  Again, I know this isn't the case but it crossed my mind.  My messed up uterus doesn't help things.  :/
• With each passing month things have gotten easier.  But, with the start of each new cycle I can't help but feel sad for a day or two.  
• For more than 10 years I have watched parents loss their children to cancer.  In my opinion, it's the worst thing that can happen to a parent.  As much as I tried, before I had William I couldn't fully appreciate a parents love for their child.  Having this miscarriage gave me a tiny peek (and when I say tiny, I mean teeny tiny) at the sadness that comes with loss of something you created/loved.  I think, in the long run, it will help me be a better, more compassionate, nurse. 

Carrie Underwood's latest song, Something In The Water, has really made me feel happy lately.

Just a little faith, it'll all get better

Gonna look ahead, no turning back

Live everyday, give it all that I have

Trust in someone bigger than me.

God is the only one that knows what our future has in store for us.  When I pray, I pray that I can continue to trust that God has the perfect plan for my family.  My plans aren't always his plans.  So for now, I'm just living everyday to the fullest.  Giving it all that I have.  Never taking our health for granted.  Trying to not sweat the small stuff.  Never comparing to others, just loving our life. Appreciating everything we have....especially my family.     

God is Good.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."  - Proverbs 3:5

3 months til 3

I can hardly believe we are about to be parents of a 3 year old!!!!

Favorite Foods-  oatmeal, grapes, goldfish, cupcakes, bananas with peanut butter, he loves veggies (especially asparagus and brussel sprouts), fried okra, chicken strips are becoming more popular and he's found 2 new loves....popcorn and "choc" milk (made with Ovaltine)!

Sleeping-  Nothing new in this department.  When we go into his room for bedtime he'll say, "It's my bed!"  I'm so happy that he loves his bed!!  Hopefully he will like his big boy bunk bed, that we just ordered, as much as he likes his crib.  We are thinking about transitioning him around his birthday. 
Development- William will finally say the word RED!  I guess he decided to give in.  About 6 months ago William was doing good about going to the bathroom in the big potty....that came to a halt about a month after it started.  He still wakes up with a wet diaper and shows NO interest in using the potty.  Maybe in a few months we will give it a shot again. 
Personality- This little guy just gets cuter every day.  He is so full of personality.  His facial expressions are priceless.  He is a happy little guy that loves trucks, buses, playing the drums and snuggling with his mama. 
Clothing size- William is in a size 5 diaper.  He's still in a 5 or 6 shoe size and is still a huge fan of his shoe collection.  His clothing size hasn't changed (mostly 2T).  He has really narrow hips so jeans seem to fall off.....maybe I'll look for a little man belt! 
Things mommy loves-
I used to think I'd be sad when he was big and no longer a baby.  But, I'm not!  He's so darn funny and makes me laugh all day long.  William loves to cook with me.  He'll say, "I see, I wanna see Mama!"  He loves helping stir and dump stuff into bowls.  These are such precious moments.  I hope he'll cook with me forever. 
Things WJG loves- His lovie is his new love (how he says lovie is precious "wuvie").  He loves when Daddy is his horsey and "rides" him around the house (poor Gordon).  William will say, "It's my horse!"  Yep buddy, he's yours!  If we'd let William he'd go to the movie theater every day.  I can tell he's going to be a movie lover like his parents.  He has really started to embrace Little Gym.  He listens so well now and does everything the teacher shows him.  William really loves to play hide 'n seek.  When he hears the door open when Gordon gets home he'll run and hide and start saying "shhhhhhhhhhhh".  When Gordon finds him, in his not so hidden hiding spot, he starts laughing hysterically.  :)  
Things WJG doesn't like-  This little man does not like jackets or hats anymore.  He won't even wear a vest or let me layer things (ex: shirt with a pullover on top).  He's always pulling his sleeves way up, so he must not like a lot of fabric on his arms?!?!?  At daycare they have to put his jacket on backwards and zip him in.  LOL.  Stubborn should be his middle name.  One of his classmates asked me the other day why William always took his jacket off.  HAHA!!!!  William also feels very strongly about what PJs he wears at night.  Very bizarre but true.  Every night he must pick out what he's going to wear (and the footed PJs never get picked). 
Favorite Things To Say-  "Is ready now?"  He usually asks this about food that we are cooking.  He loves to play hide 'n seek....he'll say, "I get you!"  My favorite thing to hear him say is "LOOK MAMA!!"  He sounds so sweet and innocent when he says those two little words.  Children are such a blessing.  They have such wonder in their eyes and are filled with curiosity.  When he says, "Look Mama" I know something has sparked his interest and he's usually super happy and excited!  He picked up the phrase "get away" at daycare.  Although it sounds really cute when he says it we try to redirect and tell him that hurts peoples feelings.  
Funny Dad Moments- Watching Gordon ride William around on his back as his horsey will never get old.  It'll be a sad day when he's too big. 
First time- William moved up classes the first week in December.  I was a little nervous about the transition since he'd be leaving his favorite teacher, Ms. Nora.  But, he's done fabulous.  He isn't crying at drop off anymore and seems to really be thriving.  I think he likes being with kids bigger than him!  William met his cousin, Katherine, for the first time in November and he watched his first movie at the theater on Christmas Eve (Penguins of Madagascar). 
Doctor-  We've only been to the doctor once for his double ear infection.  He only had fever for one day but 2 days after that started telling me his ear had a "boo boo".  He also had a trip to the dentist.  The dentist said we were doing a good job with brushing (William hates this nightly routine).  It's looking like the little man is missing a couple of his bottom teeth. :( There's nothing we can do about it at this point.  The dentist says he may still have the adult teeth, just not the baby teeth.  Time will tell.    

Cheers to birthday party planning!!  It'll be here in the blink of an eye.

Christmas Cards

I can't say how much I love getting Christmas cards in the mail!  It's so fun to see how everyone has grown/changed.  I love seeing all the outfits, the different backgrounds and the cute poses.  Of all the Christmas cards Gordon and I have mailed out, this years was my favorite!  Alison did a great job.  She was even able to capture a few smiles....from a little boy who really dislikes the camera.  It was quick, easy and they turned out perfect. 

I loved that the Merry Christmas was in foil!  #myfavoritecardyet

William's face is priceless!

Can you tell I like these two guys?!?!

William dusted his hands off, stood up and said, "BYE!" to Alison.  When you're done, you're done.

Thanks BFF for the precious memories!  * let me know if you live in the Katy/Houston area and need a photographer.  She's super! *  

Christmas 2014

Another Christmas is in the books!!  This was the first Christmas that William really understood what was going on.  He would open a present and say, "Oh wow!"  It was hard to get him to move onto another present since he was already busy playing with the first.  [I hear this will change in a few years] 

SANTA!!  *this green chair was my dad's as a child!*

We flew into Midland on Monday evening so we had 2 full days and most of Christmas to spend with my family.  On Tuesday, we took William to Pop and GG's house, in Big Spring, to see the turkeys and goats.  He even got to feed the turkeys some corn!  On Christmas Eve we took William to see his first movie at the theater!!  When we walked up he said, "It's BIG!"  He was even more excited when he saw that the concession stand was overflowing with popcorn (also known as "toptorn").  We went to see Penguins of Madagascar and it didn't disappoint.  It was super cute and kept William's attention.  He did a great job and talked about the movie the whole way home.

After opening presents on Christmas morning we headed to mass and then spent the afternoon relaxing and taking his new car for a spin.  Whenever William would see a stick on the sidewalk, that he may run over with his car, he'd get off his car, pick up the stick, hand it to me and then get back to driving.  I hope he's this cautious when he's 16 years old and driving for real!  Unfortunately, our flight home on Christmas evening was delayed.  Instead of getting to Houston at 8:30 we didn't land until 10:30.  I finally put William into his crib at midnight.  Whewwww.  Long but good day!

Decorating Cookies  |  Too cute  |  Playing with his new train  |  Checking out his big truck from Santa  |  Santa Came!  |  Opening presents with Mimi on the 26th  |  A choo choo from GG and Pop  |  My future drummer  |  Taking his car for a spin  |  2 handsome fellows

I'm sure Christmas next year will be even more fun!!!  I secretly hope he still calls Santa "HO HO HO".  Cheers to Christmas being on a Friday next year....this means there's no way I'll have to work the next day.  :)  

Preparing for Christmas

I hate how quickly Christmas came and went this year!!  The first week/weekend after Thanksgiving I had my "favorite things" bunco night followed by Gordon's company Christmas dinner.  That weekend was spent putting Christmas decorations up and going to visit Santa!!!  Over the next week I got our Christmas cards mailed out, wrapped up our Christmas shopping and spent extra time loving on baby boy during his double ear infection sickness.  That following weekend (with 2 days of antibiotics under our belt) William and I made our way up to Dallas to meet my parents.  We went to see ICE! at the Gaylord and had a surprise visit from two of my aunts.  AND the last weekend before Christmas we attended a couples Christmas party, I helped host an ornament exchange party and we got all packed up to head to West Texas.  Whewwww.  It was a crazy, but fun, month!

Christmas Cards are my Favorite!

Lunch Date After Shopping

Bunco Babes

Our annual Ornament Decorating Party had to be canceled due to the yucky flu and I couldn't squeeze gingerbread house making into our tight schedule.  :(   There really needs to be 4 weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas!  Regardless, the holidays were wonderful. 

This was our first year to not get a real Christmas tree.  A part of me was really sad.  But, I will admit that a pre-lit tree is pretty awesome.  I have such fun and happy memories of Christmas as a child. A big part of that is decorating the Christmas tree!  All the ornaments were so fun and most of them had a memory attached to them.  As much as I appreciate a "fancy" tree....our home will always have a fun tree that hold lots of meaning and memories.  William was a great helper this year when it came to tree decorating.  Mommy and daddy even bought some festive Christmas beer to get us in the spirit.  :)

{Mama's helper}  {Christmas shopping.  Love this shirt by Tea from Mimi}  {Lunch date}  {He loves oatmeal}  {Love this face}  {Getting so big}  {Decorating cookies while mama makes his friends treat bags}  {Happy}  {Oh, wow!}  {Ho, Ho, Ho is coming to my house?!?!?}  

Our visit to see Santa went as expected....not so good.  This year, William started to understand that Santa brings you a present if you behave and mind the rules.  We'd ask him what he wanted for Christmas and he'd say, "A BIG truck!"  When we got to Bering's to visit Santa William immediately started saying, "No ho, ho, ho!"  Translation = I don't want to see Santa, he scares me.   When it was almost our turn to talk to Santa William was clinging onto me for dear life.  He wouldn't even look in the direction of Santa.  I told him all he had to do was tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas.  As I put him onto Santa's lap (while he was crying) he started yelling, "I wannnnaaaa BIG truck!" on repeat.  He calmed down long enough to snap a picture (obviously he wasn't smiling for that one!).  When I went to pick him back up he whispered one more time, "I wanna big truck." to Santa.  I got a little teary eyed because he's just so darn sweet....and I felt a little bad for torturing our poor child.  Hopefully he'll laugh when I tell him these stories years from now!

Santa 2014

     

ICE!

In mid December William and I made a trip to Dallas to meet my parents for ICE!  I love holiday traditions so I'm excited to add this one to our list.  We definitely learned a few things this year that will make trips to come more fun.  The first is location.  We decided to stay 2 miles down the road at The Embassy Suites.  If we did it again, I think we all agreed, we'd stay at the Gaylord where ICE! is held.  There are so many other fun kid activities you can enjoy besides the ice show.  I don't know about you but my toddler needs a nap.  Every. Single. Day. At. The. Same. Time.  Unfortunately, his nap falls right around noon.  If we are out and about running errands and decide to grab lunch somewhere things can get nasty.  And by that I mean someone can have a nasty attitude!  Sometimes William does great but there are others when he's so tired and grumpy. 

Anyways, back to ICE!  By staying at the Gaylord you avoid the parking garage (and the walking involved in that) and you can come and go as you please.  William was super pumped about the ice slide (when we were just talking about it).  He liked the slideshow that was shown beforehand and he really liked the man made snow that came down before we went into the ICE area.  Unfortunately, that's where the happiness ended.  Little man does not like wearing a jacket.  In a 9 degree room this is a problem.  William got cold and fast.  He did wise up and put on the jacket, a hat and mittens....but he was too far gone.  But hey, you live and learn.  We did have fun.  My dad went down the ice slide and we took some fun pictures.  It's hilarious to ask William about our ice adventure. 
Me: "William, did you like the ice slide?" 
William in his most dramatic voice:  "No, it's coooolllllddddd!"  As he pretends to shiver. 

Looking at the snow coming down |  Getting excited to go into ICE!  |  Things were getting cold  |  ICE! with Nana and Papa  |  Papa going down the ice slide  |  Beautiful  |  Almost tall enough  |  Mesmerized by the tall guy  |  Bass Pro Shop  |  Riding a Reindeer

After our ice adventure we had a yummy Mexican lunch with my aunts, walked around the beautifully decorated hotel for a little bit and then headed back to the hotel to visit/nap.  That evening we had fun running around Bass Pro Shop looking at all the cool stuff they have!! 

I can't wait to see how he does next year!!  He'll even be tall enough to go on the snow tubes.     

A Texarkana Thanksgiving

Why am I always so behind on my blogging!?!?!  Maybe that should be one of my resolutions....blog about event within 2 weeks.  HA!  We'll see how that goes.   

{Meeting his cousin, Katherine} {He might kinda like her} {Playing outside} {Family Photos} {The Hunters} {Loving being an aunt} {Opening presents with Aunt Ash} {Yogurt with Uncle G and Em} {Play time with Mimi}

This was our year to spend Thanksgiving in Texarkana.  Gordon and I got lucky and both had off the day before Thanksgiving (that's usually not the case).  We drove to T-town late Tuesday night, which gave us 4 full days to visit with family.  As always, the boys did a lot of hunting and William and I got some good naps in together.  Thankfully, the weather was nice so we could play outside some. William will never turn down a chance to play in his sandbox (he has one at each of his grandparent's houses).  I was super excited to sneak away one evening, with Gordon, to see new The Hunger Games movie.  AND, this year we had a special guest.....my new niece, Katherine Jane!  William wasn't a big fan of me holding baby Katherine.  He would cry, "My mama!"  So, once William was in bed I would sneak in some special baby cuddle time!

The Gooding Girls at the Sip and See!  

Celebrating Baby Katherine!

Now that we have a cousin to play with during Thanksgiving, Gordon and I have talked about spending every Thanksgiving in Texarakana and every Christmas in Midland.  We have 11 months to think about it....we shall see!  Spending that time with the entire Gooding family is priceless.  So many fun memories are made and I know William will love the day when he can hunt with the boys!    

New Years Eve

The years seem to just fly right by.  I'm always a little sad to have another year pass but excited about what's to come!  Since we've had William I've really wanted time to slow down.  But alas, NYE came again.....and we had a fabulous day!  Gordon and I both worked half a day which meant William went to school for a little while.  I didn't even think about getting a babysitter this year.  Staying home sounded too nice!  Gordon and I did sneak in a hour long date at Top Golf.  :)  After our quick date we picked up William and went shopping at Whole Food and then baby boy got a much needed hair cut.  The rest of the day was spent at home playing, cooking and just relaxing.  Emily and Grant even stopped by to play for a little bit.

{Picking up stuff for dinner at Whole Food}  {Yummy "muchi" at Top Golf....this stuff was delicious}  {Big boy haircut}  {Dinner date with my favorite guy!  Salmon, Crab cake and Scallops!}  {Such a cute little bottle}  {Cheers}

After putting William to bed, Gordon and I had the best night watching Cutthroat Kitchen and drinking Champagne on the couch.  It was the perfect way to end 2014.  

Here's a quick recap of 2014.....

January- getting settled into our new home, made a trip to Texarkana
February- celebrated my 32nd birthday in Breckenridge
March- made a trip to West Texas where we had family pictures taken
April- had the best train party for William's 2nd birthday
May- 4th trip to Rosemary Beach
June- William became a little fish this summer.  He loved time at the pool....especially the JW Marriott
July- went to Summer Mummers in Midland over 4th of July weekend and found out we were expecting baby #2
August- William spent a week in Texarkana, we saw baby's heartbeat for the first time and we made a trip to the San Antonio Wildlife Safari
September- we visited a new lake over Labor Day, lost our angel baby, went to a Tech football game and celebrated our 4th anniversary
October- we made another trip to Texarkana, my parents visited us, we gained a niece making us aunt/uncle/cousin and William was "hotdog" for Halloween!
November- my sweet grandpa passed away, William's first Texans football game and Thanksgiving in Texarkana
December-  ICE! at the Gaylord and Christmas in Midland

I'm not one to make "new years resolutions"....I'm a pretty regimented person.  I like structure and routine so I usually feel like there's not much I want to change.  BUT....this year I do have a few things on my list!

• Get back into a workout routine.  I've been really bad the past 6 months?!!?  Losing the 5 pounds I gained during my 9 week pregnancy and then miscarriage would be awesome.  Actually, just toning up would be nice!
• Go to church every week.  With all the traveling we do this gets tough but I'm making it a priority.  Even if it means church on Wednesday evening!
• Eating more organic foods which means more trips to Whole Food.  Yes, it cost more but I've decided it's important for our health (more on that later maybe).
• The end of 2014 was heartbreaking.  Staying positive and grateful for my family and our health!

I really can't believe that my "baby" is gone.  He is growing up so fast and is such a little boy now!  We can't wait to see what this year has in store for us.  With this crazy kid around I can guarantee it will be filled with lots of laughter!

CHEERS!!!